Priceless...

The lowly Hunchback wanders into the lair... upon noticing the food supply is not where she thought, she stops mid-step... once notified the food has been moved, she scampers away in search for a banana flavored Laffy Taffy.

Being Civilized...

"I do a lot of stupid things but sometimes I have manners." --Major Mojo S. Boogie

Food...

"Do we know who did the microwaving of the muffin??" --Almond Joy

Legitimacy...

"D-Buttersnaps is legit!!!" --Lola

The Law...

"Whatever I say goes." --The Rock

True Love...

"You just can't understand a dog love like mine!" -- Swedish Fish Rock

Blue Ribbon...

And the Award for Most Successful I-9 Paperwork goes to.... Swedish Fish Rock for filling out the I-9 just as HR wanted it!

Tis the Season...

"So, are there really hot, cute Santas??" -- Swedish Fish Rock

Lonliness...

"Thanks for calling up and harassing me, Yenta. I haven't had that happen in a while and I was beginning to feel lonely." -- Swedish Fish Rock

Back in the Day...

"I made it through high school with purple hair, a trench coat and Doc Martins... Look at me now!" --Major Mojo S. Boogie

Heartstrings...

Yenta: I would never toy with your heart.
Swedish Fish Rock: Of course you would!

Nothing to See Here...

"You can't open that box and I can't tell you why!!" -- Major Mojo S. Boogie to D-Buttersnaps

Secrets don't make friends...

Business Master: Can't you keep a secret?
Swedish Fish Rock: No. I'm in marketing!

Who to Blame...

"We'll blame it on the new girl. She's not here to defend herself." -- Swedish Fish Rock

Age is relative...

"I guess that means I'm hot... or I look like I'm twelve..." -- Swedish Fish Rock

News...

"Do you want the bad news... or the bad news?" -- IT Punk Dude

Running Late...

Major Mojo S. Boogie: She was supposed to be here at 2. It's now 2:30.
D-Buttersnaps: It was the R.O.U.S.'s.
MMSB: Rats of Unusual Size? They don't exist...

Your Personality...

"I don't think you're angry, bitter and hostile. You are more sardonic, witty and you think on your feet." --Yenta

Candy...

Major Mojo S. Boogie to D-Buttersnaps after the latter asks a question: "Whoa... That is a huge pile of Swedish Fish... I can't put them back now... Wait... What was your question?"

The Plague...

"No, no. I don't have the plague anymore. However, I almost died when I choked on a pea last night." --Mingion Admin

Living Life...

"If I do anything right in this world it is party right." --Teea Warrior Princess

Happiness...

"I love the Muppets. They're the best thing that has ever happened to me! Except for that other thing..." --Major Mojo S. Boogie

My Life...

"I have a life... It's in a jar on a shelf... Every once in a while I take it down, look at it and shake it up like a snow globe." --Swedish Fish Rock

Last Day (Rights)....

"You know we're executing you before you leave, right? We give you a bunch of projects, a last meal, and then we shoot you." --Major Mojo S. Boogie

I'll Trade You...

"If you do me this one favor, I will take you and the rest of the Amazon Princesses out to lunch next week." --Pool Man

Current Location...

"I made it to the seventh circle of Hell before 9 AM... I'm not sure if that's considered an accomplishment..." --Swedish Fish Rock

New Job...

"Even the Circus takes people with advanced degrees, right?" -- Major Mojo S. Boogie

At the Office...

"Sitting in the office working with posy-model face." --Swedish Fish Rock

Ask Yourself This...

"You have to ask yourself one question... what's more important in MY life... your spiders or my task list?" --Major Mojo S. Boogie

See ya....

"I love ya, man, but I'm sick of seeing your face so much." --Swedish Fish Rock

Making Statements...

"I didn't rub it in. I just made a statement." -- D-Buttersnaps

Sam the Eagle Puts It in Perspective

Your Future Called...

"You're future husband called. He want's to meet with you." --Yenta, the Women's Business Expert.
Followed by Major Mojo S. Boogie nearly spitting out water all over the floor.

Muffins Anyone?...

"Aye yie yie! I want a muffin. Do you want a muffin?" -- Jorgy

Let's Pretend...

"Come pretend to be a 13 year old boy and register for this event." --Swedish Fish Rock to D-Buttersnaps

Your Reputation...

"Blah, blah, being a good person, blah..." -- Mrs. Weasel Nums

Paranoia...

"It's better to be paranoid than dead." -- Swedish Fish Rock

Choose your words wisely...

"Does monkies want to be free?" -- D-Buttersnaps and Mrs. Weasel Nums when debating whether to use the word "do" or "does" in a headline.

Office Survivor...

In response to the funny smell coming from the refrigerator:
"You've been voted off the Island. Take your meat and go." --Major Mojo S. Boogie

Foreign Exchange

"Can I come with you to London? You could take me as your pet," said Major Mojo S. Boogie.

"Kind of like that woman who had a conjugal visit to her husband in prison and tried to sneak him out in her suit case?" asked JJ.

"Sort of. Only without the conjugal visit."

"What?! It's because I'm fat, isn't it?"

"No, it's because I don't want to sleep with you. However, if I swung that way, you know you'd be my first choice. I just want to be your Golden Retreiver."

Here's how it is...

"It's not personal, it's branding." --Major Mojo S. Boogie

FIRE!!...

"The house hasn't burned down, but there is some smoke damage...." --My Boss

Names of People...

"You know... that undersecretary-of-something-important..." --Swedish Fish Rock

Exercise...

"My thighs hurt worse than the pain of 1,000 suns." --Mrs. Weasel Nums

Cunning Plans....

"I do have a grand and cunning plan, and it involves Jelly Beans." --Swedish Fish Rock

Word of the Day...

rumormonger: a dealer in or trader of rumors as a commodity

"Wait! I missed the rumormongering!" -- Mrs. Weasel Nums

Guys in the World...

"There are good guys out there. I meet them all the time. I just haven't found one I'm attracted to." --Swedish Fish Rock

Late for Work...

"I'm going to be late for work. Something came loose under my car and I have to duct tape it." --Jorgy

Viral Conversation...

"Speaking of leprosy, here's something you might really enjoy..." --Energy Expert "Booger"

Making Donations...

Swedish Fish Rock: I don't think that division exists anymore.
JJ: Well, we can just make the donation posthumously....
Swedish Fish Rock: They're not dead, they just don't exist anymore...

Caution...

Swedish Fish Rock: You're not giving me something to download viruses to my computer are you?
Almond Joy: No. I have other ways of giving you viruses.

The Good and the Bad...

Good day at work: Narrowly missing getting spit on by the boss.
Bad day at work: The beating stick comes out of the cupboard.

Bad News....

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go for your LACK OF TE-LE-PA-THY." --Swedish Fish Rock

Best. Word. Ever...

"I think 'spangled' is one of the best words in the English Language." --Mrs. Weasel Nums

Help Needed....

Position: Marketing Ninja

Job Description: Seek out and destroy all complainers.

Required Skills: Sweet moves with Nunchucks and skill at throwing projectiles. Must have a background in Martial Arts.

Salary: Commensurate with experience.

Body Mass...

"I wish I was as thin as my patience..." --JJ

How Good Are You?...

Swedish Fish Rock: I need him to fill out paperwork, but I want to get it on the production schedule so I'm being a little bit naughty.
JJ: So you're going to be really naughty.
SFR: No I'm not, I'm the sweetest little person.
JJ: The sweetest little naughty.

In the Grand Scheme of Things...

According to Accounting, our department is the goo that holds the tire to the rim of the wheel of the bicycle of our workplace.