Children...

"Well, I haven't died from complications with children yet so..." -- Photoschriber

Pirates...

Wizard of Wizdom: "Unplug to Rech-ARG-e" – The story of how a kid consumed by electronics unplugs them all and starts using his imagination to search for hidden treasure.
Hot Pink Gym Shoes: I would read that.

Oxford Comma...

"The only thing the oxford comma really has going for it is its' first name..." -- Almond Joey