Gluten Free...

Burning Man: Where were the Glutens before they were free?
Highly Suspeck: The Snakes took the Glutens with them.
Burning Man: Come on, Glutens!

Today is the day...

Almond Joey: Today's the day I'm sending you to Hawaii.
Undisclosed Employee: I won a trip to Hawaii??
Almond Joey: No. I'm buying tires. It's the same thing.