FIRE!!...

"The house hasn't burned down, but there is some smoke damage...." --My Boss

Names of People...

"You know... that undersecretary-of-something-important..." --Swedish Fish Rock

Exercise...

"My thighs hurt worse than the pain of 1,000 suns." --Mrs. Weasel Nums

Cunning Plans....

"I do have a grand and cunning plan, and it involves Jelly Beans." --Swedish Fish Rock

Word of the Day...

rumormonger: a dealer in or trader of rumors as a commodity

"Wait! I missed the rumormongering!" -- Mrs. Weasel Nums

Guys in the World...

"There are good guys out there. I meet them all the time. I just haven't found one I'm attracted to." --Swedish Fish Rock

Late for Work...

"I'm going to be late for work. Something came loose under my car and I have to duct tape it." --Jorgy