Oh the Pain...

"This has been a lot less painless than I thought it was going to be." -- Jorgy

Treats at Work...

"We each get two. Don't try to pawn off your cookie!" --D-Buttersnaps

Tis the Season...

"I am NOT including Brunhilde on the Christmas card." -- Swedish Fish Rock

Who to Blame...

When in doubt, blame the IT guy because no one really knows what they do all day.

Planetary Alignment...

"I blame the planets for my face." -- Jorgy

Increase Your Productivity...

"Constant flogging increases productivity." -- Mrs. Weasel Nums

On Task...

"Way to be motivated and proactive and really screwing it all up!" -- Swedish Fish Rock to D-Buttersnaps

Questionable Question...

"Do either of you have drugs?... Like, pain killing drugs, not illegal ones." -- Mrs. Weasel Nums

To the Miracle workers....

Email Subject: Expecting a Miracle

Email Content: We need to talk!

-- JJ

Favors...

IT Punk Dude: Can you do me a favor?
Major Mojo S. Boogie: No.
IT Punk Dude: Okay... will do something against your will?
Major Mojo S. Boogie: Maybe.

Friendship...

Email:
Major Mojo S. Boogie,
I fixed your employee's computer. Now you can put her to work.
Your BFF,
IT Punk Dude

Reply:
It's still broken. Get your trousers back here.

Pretty Boy....

IT Punk Dude: I used to ride around to a lot of punk concerts on my motorcycle.
Swedish Fish Rock: You need a Harley for that.
IT Punk Dude: No way man. I'm a pretty boy!

How dare you!!

"How dare you be effective in your jobs and come between me and my hot and sour soup!!" -- Major Mojo S. Boogie

Phrase of the day...

"I reckon..." -- The Library Master
"Most coolest..." -- Fish

Days off...

Jorgy: So why do you get Tuesdays off?
Mrs. Weasel Nums: Mittens can't be left at home on Tuesdays because she gets really bad separation anxiety.

Food...

"Whatever minions! I don't feed you." -- Swedish Fish rock

Lunch Tomorrow...

"If we don't decide where to go to lunch soon, I'm going to bring a can of soup and eat it in front of you." -- My Boss

Dentists...

"I hate dentists... I'd rather have a pap smear." -- JJ

Nicknames...

Newly Acquired Nickname:

Major Mojo S. Boogie (Don't ask what the "S" stands for. It's a touchy subject... it's Sweetums)

Hey!!

Swedish Fish Rock: Don't throw me under the bus!
Not-So-Innocent Bystander: What's one more tread mark??

New Employees Beware...

"We don't want to beat them up in the first 24 hours... we usually wait 48 hours before we do that... by the third day they can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'!" --Swedish Fish Rock

Nicknames...

We handed out Nicknames at work today...

The Grand Imperial Ruler
"Code" Ninja
The Awesomeness
"Code" Sensei

Stay tuned for more!

I didn't do it...

"It wasn't me... Mercury did it..." --Swedish Fish Rock about the Planet Mercury in retrograde.

Who's team are you on?

"I want to be on Spash the Quack-tastic Duck Defender's team for Red Rover." --Swedish Fish Rock

Time to Report....

"Your Volcano Reports will be given at 3:00 today in the Conference Room." --Swedish Fish Rock to D-buttersnaps and Jorgy

Meeting People....

"Have you met me? I'm weird, but I'm not crazy." --Swedish Fish Rock

Mysterious Paint Job...

"If our office was one day mysteriously painted with a fantastic color palette, could we blame it on a band of gypsy painters that came in and held one of us hostage until our boss said that they could paint our office an esthetically pleasing, feng-shui worthy shade of lavender?" -- The Gurus

Death by Marketing Decisions....

"No one has died from changing a cover... YET..." -- Swedish Fish Rock

I Want That Cabinet...

"I'll arm wrestle you to the death for that cabinet." -- Swedish Fish Rock

Autobiography...

"Could've Been Great... That's going to be the title of my autobiography." -- Spash the Quack-tastic Duck Defender

What do we do now?

"We'll conquer the world now... or something." --Swedish Fish Rock

What do we do now?

"We'll conquer the world now... or something." --Swedish Fish Rock

Pictures...

"I don't like this picture of me. I look like a 40 year-old, wrinkled woman."
-- Jorgy

You Know It's A Monday When....

You know it's a Monday when it takes you an hour to get pictures off of a Digital Camera.

Sign Up Here...

"Just give it to me and I'll slide it through... I know people."
--Swedish Fish Rock

This is a Test Post

I am adding nonsense here as a test.

Swedish Fish Rock - "I only have to be responsible for myself."

D-Butternaps - "Can you do that?!"

Swedish Fish Rock - "No...have you met me? I HAVE."

Friendship

"I like bugging you... You take my calls."
--Swedish Fish Rock

Job Descriptions

Jorgy (to a completely objective third party): So what do you do?
Swedish Fish: All of my bidding.

Comparisons...

"Psyching someone out is a cheap thrill. Almost as fun as a cup of coffee."
--Our Friendly Printer

Conflict of Interest....

"I never met a conflict of interest I didn't like."
--Well-known Local Politician

Who are you?

"I'm the Wicked Princess... Wicked Smaart."
--Swedish Fish Rock

You know you work too much when...

You dial 9 first when calling someone from your cell phone.

Word of the Day

crookedie (crook-id-ee)
something that is not lined up the way it is supposed to be
-- Helpful People

Fridays...

You know it's a Friday when you call your own extension and wonder why the line is busy.

The Universe...

We decided today that if the Universe could talk it would have a French accent.... but more in the style of Pepe, the King Prawn.

Yoda Called...

We heard from Yoda while we were in a meeting. Apparently the Dark Side is coming.

I'm serious...

"Why would we want to do anything logical? No, I'm serious." --The Man

Hooked On Phonics...

"Management: No Cost Ways to Increase Poverty" ... I swear that's what the class name was ...
--D-buttersnaps

Don't Panic...

"Scream!! URLs that are whack!" --The Master of Online Courses

Today I became a spy...

"We need to delete your identity and rebuild it." --IT Guy

Word of the Day

dant -
term to used when frustrated

Embracing Your Inner Geek

"I used to be able to rock Excel like nobody's business" -- Swedish Fish Rock

Word of the Day

awesomenicity -
when something is more than just "awesome" - A. Sokia

"The Plan"

"It's cunning... trust me..." --Swedish Fish Rock

Classic...

"I R smart sometime." --My Boss

Where are you?

The Question:
"I keep calling your other extension. How do you know where you are?"

The Response:
"I don't. I'm disoriented most of the time."

-- JS to Swedish Fish Rock

Word of the Day

percentation-
the amount of a presentation you actually understand. - A. Sokia

Speaking of Mythical Creatures

"Finn O'Knightley: sometimes leprechaun, sometimes romantic hero."
--Swedish Fish Rock

Things to include in your personal ad...

"Heathen more. Pagan less."--Swedish Fish Rock

Spash - The Quack-tastic Duck Defender

-- A. Sokia's superhero alias.

(No, we are serious about this one. It really happened.)

Word of the Day

Confusement -

Definition by A. Sokia: "the art of being confused."

Definition by the Urban Dictionary: "the greatest band ever."

1000 Ways to Say Yes

Yepper - IT Web Guy

Don't be jealous....

"I know you're jealous of my fierce wit and sophistication." --My Boss

I Rock...

"I rock. I know you don't want to admit it... but i can see it in your eyes." --Swedish Fish Rock

Be careful what you eat...

"You need to finish the rest of that chocolate muffin. Your honor is at stake." -- Swedish Fish Rock

Best Email Subject Line

"Call Me! I Messed Up! Oh Freak!!! --JJ

Followed by the comment:

"I swear, I swear, I swear..."

Oldie, but goodie...

"Maiming is okay, but killing is not." -- Telecom Guy

You've Lost Your Tagline Mojo

You've lost your tagline mojo.

--JJ

Welcome to the Board...

No it's not that kind of board. This may or may not be a board you want to be on.

It is, in fact, a random collection of comments, quotes and nonsense captured on the white board in our office. The board serves no other purpose that to entertain us (my staff and I), and remind us that life does in fact offer us moments of joy and laughter; and cheap thrills (often at the expense of our collogues).

This collection is an extract of comments from the various conversations that happen around our workplace, which happens to be a unnamed college in the Rocky Mountains. Most of these comments were not intended to be funny, but somehow by the grace of God, turned out that way, and we felt should be shared and contributed to.

Please note: in most instances the names have been changed to protect the "innocent." Unless, of course, we are mad at you. In which case, we may take further action and fully disclose your identity.

Please feel free to share some of your own board worthy experiences. However, keep it good taste. Comments deemed offensive will be removed.

So, once again, welcome to the board.